Q. My boyfriend is addicted to Internet chatting. What can I do?
(Marlene)
A. Your boyfriend is obviously bored, either in his life or in his relationship, and is seeking company online. He is not necessarily addicted. It could be that you are not talking about the things he enjoys and so he takes refuge on chat. Or that he needs extra stimulation in conversation and likes chat rooms. Either way, you are not getting the attention and he is neglecting his relationship.
There are a few things you could do:
1. Join a chat room too and play him at his own game. Send him instant messages and things like that. It could give your conversations a new dimension and make them more interesting.
2. Let him know how you feel about it and ask him how HE would feel if most of your time was being taken up that way. Then ask if there are other things you could both be doing together.
3. Compromise on the time he could spend online, as long as there is equal time spent with you. So he could have a couple hours each day chatting, perhaps, so long as you both share similar time together.
4. Tell him that you feel excluded from his company as he seem to have no time for you. If that continues, you will have to leave him to it, and see what he does.
Do bear in mind, though, that no one person can ever fulfil all aspects of our lives. We will always be seeking stimulation outside in one form or another. The main thing is to ensure balance in whatever you do. The Internet is also a novelty to many people. Sometimes the answer is simply to let it ride for a while until the novelty wears off, while you go out with friends, or find something equally interesting to do, rather than sitting around watching him. If you merely point out what he is doing, or nag him about it, he will get resentful and just keep doing it.
The more we get on with our life, the more attractive we seem to others, because they have to make the running to us! So, if all else fails, find a hobby too, or someone who will give you the attention you deserve and see the rapid change in his reaction!