Do you suspect that your next potential boyfriend candidate is messing with that pretty little head of yours? Sick of feeling like he’s playing games?
Here’s the low-down on the probability that he’s trying to put you through some sort of dating test, and how to tell for sure:
Don’t Be Too Paranoid, it’s Not as Common in Men
The truth is, women are much more likely to try and pull mind tricks than men. Most guys just aren’t wired this way, although there are definitely exceptions.
There is a type of guy who is most likely to initiate a mind game that you will probably be unaware that you are even playing. An insecure, bitter-type guy who has been treated badly by past girlfriends (cheated on, used financially, etc.), is the usual suspect for a guy who will put you through the ringer picking your brain before he decides how serious to get with you.
What Types of Games?
The types of games vary according to situation and personalities involved, but there are some that tend to be seen more often than others.
Actually, the most common “game” that is witnessed being played by men isn’t always pre-meditated, so don’t jump to conclusions. A lot of guys will be indecisive and confused out of their nature, and this results in a “I want you/Now I don’t” game that many women have had to deal with.
Other games include flirting with other women right in front of you in order to gauge your reaction, asking you questions about marriage and children to figure out if you will be demanding a serious commitment from him, and various communication-cutoff tests where he disappears for a few days or so in order to see how clingy or independent you are.
The Worst Test of All
You may choose to either get rid of a guy or forgive him if you catch a game-in-action. However, there is one test that shouldn’t be forgive ever.
Life is too short to tolerate a man who manipulates your feelings just because he can and takes advantage of that precious power. Therefore, if he initiates the worst game a person can play: dumping you just to see what your reaction will be, just walk away for good. Only the real sick guys like this one.
How to Play (Or Not Play)
You only have a few choices of course of action if you realize a guy you’ve started to date is now testing you psychologically.
Your first option? You can have fun with the situation and not take it seriously. This can include playing a game right back and messing with his head too.
The second option is to ignore him and avoid all communication until he gets the hint. If he just disappears and you never hear from him again, you’re better off so no harm done.
The final option is the most simple: just dump him. Be direct and unafraid, and remind him that that is what mature adults do instead of playing silly games.
Healthy Tests and Games and Ones That Definitely Are Not
In a lot of relationships, both parties play games and test each other playfully, without consciously realizing it and without intent to hurt their partners.
Flirting with someone else at a party or nightclub right in your sweetie’s direct line of sight is a popular example. A lot of couples tease each other in this way and have a lot of fun together.
However, there are couples that cross the line. If your testing and game-playing takes on a sadistic feel then you know that it’s no longer healthy behavior. Intention is the key that will tell you whether or not you’ve crossed the border in unstable: WHY are you testing your mate in this way? If the answer is to hurt them deliberately, hit the pause button and get some professional help.
Why it’s Best to Just Ditch ‘Em
A man who tests you psychologically and emotionally on a regular basis is often best left behind. Why? Because of what it says about his personality and background.
First, it shows he that he’s incredibly insecure. Second, it shows that he is selfish to the max since he’s more than willing to put you through someone uncomfortable or even painful if it means he’ll get whatever stupid answer he wants.
The Safeguard Against All Tests and Games
There’s a simple way to ensure you don’t become someone’s plaything in a relationship. If you’re strong at all times in dating situations and keep your own well-being and your rights in mind, you will be cutting off most the silliness before it begins.
If you know he’s putting a test on you, pay no mind. Act exactly how you would otherwise. Don’t give his efforts power and it will show him you’re not an easy target.