‘Work is not a punishment; it is our reward, strength and pleasure’ George Sand
Unfortunately, there are a variety of factors that can make work a punishment. Here is a closer look at some common reasons for work stress and tips to cope with each situation.
A Difficult Boss
Nasty bosses have been caricatured in nearly every humorous cartoon because they are so much a part of our lives. A difficult boss can be demanding, critical, bullying and narcissistic!
According to Lynn Taylor, author of ‘Tame your Terrible Office Tyrant‘, bad bosses can cause employees to worry about them for a whopping 19 hours every week (which includes weekends).
Robert Hosking, Executive Director of Office Team, suggests the following tips to cope with a difficult boss
- If your boss is a bully, make sure you explain things to him slowly and calmly. Avoid raising your voice in anger or defiance. But don’t back down; explain your side clearly and succinctly.
- To handle a boss who is a poor communicator, take initiative and ask questions and clear doubts before you get to work.
- If your boss is a saboteur(the kind who will always look for someone to take the blame), make sure you keep a paper trail and document everything that you do.
Keas, the Executive Wellness Company suggests that the best way to minimize stress while dealing with a toxic boss is to keep your business persona and personal feelings separate.
Bosses are usually difficult due to several reasons that have nothing to do with you personally.
Stress from Hostile Co-Workers
Every workplace environment has its share of bullies and difficult people – Remember that the next time you get stressed due to a jealous and hostile co-worker. According to statistics, more than 54 million Americans have complained about feeling intimidated and stressed by bullies at work.
According to Alan Caviola, Author of ‘Toxic Co-Workers‘ and Professor of Psychological Counseling at Monmouth University, difficult co-workers can cause serious disturbances and stresses.
Regardless of educational qualifications, professional experience and skill, developing effective relationships at work is a key step towards stress mitigation, goal achievement and career success.
Fortunately, there are several ways to get around a bad co-worker. You can alter a difficult situation to your advantage and even develop a friendly relationship with a hostile colleague.
Tips to Cope with Co-Workers from Hell
1. Sit down for a private talk with the colleague in question. Go out for coffee and express your feelings calmly and clearly.
2. Avoid talking behind the person’s back and playing the blame game. If you have a problem, talk to the person in question first and talk to your boss as a last resort.
3. Sometimes, confrontation may be the only solution. If you are uncomfortable with the thought of conflict, practice rehearsing what want to say in advance to avoid giving way to impulsive reactions.
4. Keep your body language and comments relevant and avoid taking cheap potshots even though she may be provoking you to do so.
5. This may sound difficult but keep yourself unflappable, polite and very calm; kill them with kindness! Nasty colleagues usually thrive on drama and controversy; don’t fall into their trap!
Other options to deal with bad co-workers could include roping in the support of a third party like an ally or the human resources representative. Above all, keep your basic goal in sight which is to be open-minded and geared towards improving your work experience.
Stress in a New Job
While starting a new job can be exciting and exhilarating, it always involves a certain amount of tension. Ramani Durvasula, Clinical Psychologist, says that stress in a new job stems from different factors that include having to prove yourself, adjusting to new routines and developing new relationships.
Linda, an actuary at an insurance firm, admitted that on the first day at her new job, she felt as if it was her first day at school! She remembered feeling nervous and apprehensive.
Durvasula suggests that for many people, a new job may trigger severe anxiety symptoms that could include sweating, sleeplessness, choking or even problems with concentrating.
How to Cope with Stress on a New Job
- Relax by taking deep breaths every time you feel stressed; ask for help and guidance from co-workers.
- Stay away from the ‘well-intentioned new worker syndrome’ and avoid making negative remarks and criticisms about your new workplace
- Avoid beating yourself up with potential ‘what-ifs’ (what if I fail at my job/what is my co-workers don’t like me and so on). Try and live in the moment.
- Treat your new job as a learning environment; you may have some background but mainly, you are there to learn.
- You cannot do everything on the first day at work. Observe and understand your tasks and give yourself time to adjust.
- Once you finish work and go home, unwind either by listening to music, going for a walk or watching your favorite TV program. As far as possible, avoid socializing with your colleagues at this early stage.
- It’s a good idea to be friendly but avoid getting into very intense relationships with co-workers in the beginning.
Take your time to feel your way around. Observe the general office work rules and avoid being in a hurry to ingratiate yourself with colleagues.
Summary
Unless we had the foresight to have been born with millionaire fathers, most of us have to work for a living. It’s a good idea to learn how to manage stress at work as we work for nearly 40 years of our lives.