A lingering glance, a stare and a wink or a devious smile and a lick of the lips followed by flattery. Most people have flirted at one time or another. Some people love to flirt while others can become uncomfortable.
Flirting is the spice of life but as in cooking you need to be careful not to overdo it. People flirt for different reasons and not always for sex. Often people flirt in order to lighten the atmosphere, get their way or to get validation.
Flirting in context
Flirting also needs to be viewed in context. Men and women flirt differently and different cultures also vary greatly. Whereas in one country eye contact is considered a good way to initiate contact before talking in other countries you can get into trouble for it.
Personal space is also a factor. When you enter someone’s personal space it is an aggressive move and you intentions need to be clear. If you make unwanted advances you can get into trouble but the problem is, not everyone needs the same amount of personal space.
There are boundaries to what you can and what you can’t do while flirting and it can be hard to figure out how far it’s acceptable to go. We all have different comfort zones that need to be respected. You should already know how you should behave at home but if you are in unfamiliar territory take a break and observe. Don’t judge before learning about the cultural norms of your environment.
How to adjust your flirting to the surroundings
In western countries eye contact is the norm but you can’t expect that to be accepted wherever you go. Touch is especially problematic and you therefore need to pay attention to your surroundings. How people greet one another can be a good way to adjust.
Do people have a large personal space, do they shake hands or hug and kiss on the cheeks when they meet? Is it common for women and men to talk together or does everyone seem to talk only to friends?
Flirting shouldn’t be taken too seriously, it’s a game between consenting adults that revolves around the central theme of having fun, light teasing and enjoying life. There are many rules about what is acceptable behavior but most rules on how strangers relate are unwritten ones and it’s therefore impossible to teach them all.
So always bear in mind that the purpose of flirting should always be to make other people comfortable.