Grief is a tidal wave that over takes you, smashes down upon you with unimaginable force, sweeps you up into its darkness, where you tumble and crash against unidentifiable surfaces, only to be thrown out on an unknown beach, bruised, reshaped… Grief will make a new person out of you, if it doesn’t kill you in the making. ~Stephanie Ericsson
Grief is one of the most profound and painful human emotions. Your dreadful sadness and subsequent mourning may be a consequence of one of innumerable circumstances. Some examples might include a severe cancer diagnosis, becoming permanently disabled, or an amputation. Perhaps you are a wounded warrior struggling with visible or invisible wounds. You may be reeling with pain from the loss of a loved one. You feel deprived of your share of happiness. You feel torn apart inside and sorrow has settled in your heart and mind like a dark heavy fog.
You have cause to mourn.
Understanding
Only when you understand what grief is, and how powerfully it can imprison your thoughts, emotions, and even your whole persona, can you begin to work through your grief. Understanding your grief and what you can do about healing helps you begin your healing journey to a healthier happier place.
Understanding the emotions associated with your grief is essential to your healing. It’s important to remember that the grieving period varies for each person. Whatever the cause of your grief, it is my deepest desire to express how sorry I am to know that you are on a sorrowing path. To all who are grief-stricken, mourning, wounded, disabled, lonely, or broken-hearted I extend my compassion and love. To you who have experienced deep pain, sorrow or loss and have survived, I salute you!
Aftermath of Grief
When a significant loss occurs it can leave you stunned, shell-shocked and filled with sorrow. Helpless, hopeless, grief-stricken, deserted and stranded, are all emotions you may experience.
Obstacles are like wild animals. They are cowards but they will bluff you if they can. If they see you are afraid of them, they are liable to spring upon you; but if you look them squarely in the eye, they will slink out of sight. ~ Orison Swett Marden
Though you may feel lost and without hope for a period of time, ultimately there can be hope and healing. While it is necessary to pass through the grieving process, don’t allow grief to take away your faith in God, love of life and most importantly, your hope. I invite you to embrace each moment to find healing, harmony, hope, and your peace and joy in living.
Self-Compassion
It’s important to remember that the grieving period varies for each person. You are deserving of you own compassion and it is essential to be gentle and kind with yourself during the grieving process. Respect and honor your grief. It is essential that you respect your grieving circumstance. Don’t compare your grief with someone else’s grief. Yours is personal and unique. Remember you are deserving of your own compassion and kindness.
Just as you would want to comfort and support someone else who is going through a difficult time, believe that you deserve this gentleness as well. Consider how you might comfort someone who is going through a period of grief. What kindness could you show to them? What kind and loving words might you say to help them? How might you model this to help yourself? In your grief relief journal write at least 5 ways you will show kindness, care and gentleness to yourself at this time of your own grief. Do at least one of these things today.
Grief Partner
Trying to survive your grief without the help of others to give comfort and support is not a good option. Trying to overcome your sorrow alone will hinder your progress and may even cause you to become severely depressed due to loneliness and isolation. As hard as it may seem, it is essential that you seek support from others and find ways to express your needs. Partner relationships are essential to your wellbeing.
Cry with someone, at times it can be more healing than crying alone. Great comfort and peace, even hope, can come to those who know they have someone to whom they can turn to in time of crisis or need. There is strength and power in prayer and communion with your God. Are family or friends available to give you comfort? Is there a grief support group in your geographic area? Have you searched for a caregiver support group? You likely will find a chapter member who will help you gain better understand and see grief healing steps.
You Are Not Alone
Beyond your deep sorrow it can be extremely difficult for you to believe at this moment, there can be hope, joy, and peace in your life. Can you let, literally thousands of others, who have cause to grieve, give you hope. You are not alone. Think of 3 ways how others have been able to reconcile their grief. Consider searching the internet for stories of how others have met their difficult challenges successfully. Let these examples empower you.
Emerging and awakening from a deep, dark and unwanted grief condition is often surreal. Unlike a bad dream which can be shrugged off, your grief is ever present. Horrendous grief consequences cause permanent change. Some of life changes cannot be controlled but rather must be accepted as reality. You cannot bring back your old life as if you were rereading an old email.
Acceptance
Although in your grief it is difficult to do so, you must accept your changed condition. Putting off taking action to do so is not a worthwhile option. Choose four things you will do today to embrace the new you and your new circumstance. Don’t dilly dally take hold of the new you with acceptance and a self-pledge to embrace your condition fully.
You can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, with your life brought to a halt by the weight of your loss. Choosing to rise above the pain point in your life is a better choice. You have the inner power to not just get ready to live but live. There may be times you will take one step forward and two steps back. Nonetheless, unlike many earthly things acquired, character is portable. You can transfer the ore of your experience, which is character, to give you empowerment to meet unexpected obstacles. Decide now to awaken and emerge from the dark side of your grief. Especially today think you can. Today use your inner strength to bring you more happiness, peace and joy.
Remember you’re mourning, because of your grief condition. Grief never finishes. Your abilities to better cope as you move through your grief increases and you intensify your ability to find more happiness on the other side of your sorrow and mourning. Learning to reconcile more frequently enhances your happiness. This understanding brings more harmony into a fuller hopeful life. You can seize a healthier recovery if you understand clearly that healing is in the reconciling of your grief. Finding moments of happiness and wellbeing should be your daily goal. Are you?