Are you a Queen, Warrior, Magician or Lover?
Theories of personality types have been around at least since the ancient Greeks. Hippocrates, the father of Western medicine, developed a theory known as The Four Temperaments:
- Phlegmatic = relaxed and quiet
- Choleric = ambitious and leader-like
- Sanguine = pleasure-seeking and sociable
- Melancholic = introverted and thoughtful
In the 20th Century, several corresponding theories developed; most notably, Robert L. Moore’s take on Jungian archetypes, known as King, Warrior, Magician, Lover.
- Phlegmatic became… King
- Choleric… Warrior
- Sanguine… Magician
- Melancholic… Lover
More recently, psychiatrist Dr. Paul Dobransky created a system, loosely based on Moore’s categories, known as KWML.
- King/Queen = introverted and analytical
- Warrior = extraverted and analytical
- Magician = extraverted and creative
- Lover = introverted and creative
Notice that Kings/Queens and Warriors are both analytical. Magicians and Lovers are both creative. Kings/Queens and Lovers are both introverted. Warriors and Magicians are both extraverted. Also, Kings/Queens and Magicians are opposites, as are Warriors and Lovers.
Know Thyself… and the Sturdy Rogue Thou Dost Woo
In all fairness to Hippocrates, Moore and Dobransky, the above definitions and comparisons are simplistic. Feel free to dive as deep as you like into these theories in order to determine your own (or anyone else’s) personality make-up. Or, if you want a quick answer, you can take Dr. Paul’s brief quiz at kwml.com, and get the man (or woman) of your choice to do the same.
Once you know your own personality type, you can set your sights on finding a proper match. But what is a proper match? Some say that opposites attract. Others insist that like attracts like. Which way lies the better path? In my experience, neither is always true. But both are usually present, though on different psychological levels.
Instinct vs. Intellect
When it comes to gender instincts, opposites complement each other. Thus, the phrase from the movie Jerry McGuire that makes all women melt: “You complete me!”
A Magician completes a Queen (and a Lover completes a Warrior) in the sense that the one is strong on the personality traits in which the other is weak; and vice versa. The extraverts bring out the introverts, and the introverts ground the extraverts.
Likewise, the analytical tend to be more logical, and the creatives tend to be more spontaneous. Together, they make wiser choices.
When it comes to intellect and spirituality, however, like is typically better off with like. A religious Fundamentalist of one faith is probably not going to be happy in a romance with anyone of any other faith. Nor will someone whose primary passion is Russian literature be contented in a long-term relationship with a barfly. Our higher brain faculties crave like-minded companionship.
Testing For Type
I typically spend several weeks with clients honing their understanding of personality types, to the point where they can instantaneously discern a King from a Warrior, Magician or Lover. If your prospect has to be drawn out of his shell, then he is most likely a King or a Lover. If, on the other hand, he won’t shut up, you can count on him being either a Magician or a Warrior.
If he speaks logically and to-the-point, then he is probably a King or a Warrior. If, however, he jumps from one idea to the next–sometimes forgetting his original point–then I would bet that he is a Lover or a Magician.
Kings love to give advice. So, if you suspect your man is a King, ask for his advice about something and see whether his eyes light up.
Lovers love to tell stories. Ask Lovers about their latest creative project–novel, symphony, stand-up routine, etc. But be prepared to listen for a while.
Magicians are often charismatic, life-of-the-party types with short attention spans. They will make you feel like the most important person in the world. And then they will make the next person they meet feel exactly the same way.
Warriors… well… they like to fight, even when they’re playing. If he disagrees with you a lot, teases you a lot or is generally feisty, then he’s probably a Warrior.
Commit To Learning About Personality Types
To get really good at this stuff, you have to work out in the field, in real-life situations, preferably with a master. When I first got serious about improving my dating life, I went out four nights a week for four months, practicing meeting people and learning how to decipher personality types.
Now, I can do so, usually, within a few seconds. And I know how to have fun with all types, not just my own or my opposite. With knowledge and practice, you can learn how to attract the best men for your personality type!