“If you concentrate on finding whatever is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul.” Rabbi Harold Kushner
Think about a time in your life when you believed “Happily Ever After” was not in the plans. During this time, you may have felt that nothing pleasant was ever going to show up. However, somehow through the struggle, fear and confusion, you found some benefits in your situation. Eventually, things turned around, almost as if by magic, and your life worked itself out.
Here’s how it happened to me…
A couple months before my thirtieth birthday, I was struggling with a deep depression. I was comparing my life in a very unfavorable way to that of my friends. They were all married, had beautiful houses, drove nice cars and had cute kids. I thought they had it all and their lives were perfect. I, on the other hand, was dating Mr. “Right-Now,” renting a house, leasing a car, and living with my four cats (a recipe for dating disaster, believe me. Have you ever seen the expression on a non-cat person when they discover that you have four cats? You can almost see their brain picturing the future you: 87 years old with seventy-six cats running around the house. Egads.) Back to my point…
I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I knew I needed to get out of my funk. I decided to have a little talk with myself and asked the question, “What is GOOD about my situation?” It took awhile, but it finally dawned on me: “Wait a minute – I DON’T own a house, I DON’T have kids, I DON’T own a car and I have no husband. These are the BEST times of my life! I am in control of my life – I can do what I want, whenever I want, and I don’t have to answer to anyone. Life is good!” (I found out later that my friends thought I had a pretty awesome life to begin with as I didn’t have all the heavy responsibilities that they had. The grass always seems to be greener on the other side, doesn’t it?)
It’s been said that nature abhors a vacuum and when you clear the negativity from your outlook, you open yourself up to receiving an influx of positivity. By getting rid of my negative attitude and looking for the positive, I created the vacuum which gave my story a happy ending.
Within three months of my attitude adjustment, the love of my life, Scott, showed up. If I had not cleared the space for him – breaking up with Mr. Right-Now, and appreciating where I was in my life-it might not have happened.
Do you have a tendency to unfavorably compare yourself to others? What do you feel is currently missing in your life that those around you all seem to possess? Think for a minute: Is it possible that you have some things that others would like to have? Are you open to receive what you want?
Start a list of the things that you do have. This may not be easy to do if you have been particularly hard on yourself lately. Be patient with yourself and add to the list as often as possible. Over time, your perspective will begin to shift. You will come to realize the blessings that you have been taken for granted for years. There truly is good in every situation. Know that it takes practice and conscious effort to find it at the beginning of your appreciation practice. It gets easier as you form the habit and your gratefulness will be as natural as your negativity used to be.
Have fun,
Lisa
When you clear away your resentment, envy and/or disappointment in yourself or others, you open the space to receive the people, events and circumstances that you desire to come into your life.