Being in a relationship, hooking up with someone exclusively, or being known as what many of you refer to as wifey . . . There are different ways to say it, but it all comes down to connecting with someone mentally, physically and emotionally. And when a relationship is good or healthy both people are happy. When a relationship is bad or unhealthy, one or both people feel angry, resentful, played, out of control and sometimes it takes a long time to get over it.
When a relationship starts it’s usually based on physical attraction and both people just want to have fun. But if the relationship is going to last it needs to be based on more than attraction and having a good time. You need to find other things that you like about each other and you need to feel like the other person cares about your well-being.
So how can you tell if the person who’s cute and fun to hang with is also the person to have a long-lasting relationship with? One thing that will help you answer this question is having a clear picture of what you want and need in a romantic relationship. The more you understand yourself – your values, your boundaries, your likes and dislikes, what it takes to make you happy, the better able you will be to make more empowered choices concerning your romantic relationships. Your wants and needs will change over time, but if you can identify them early on, you’ll have more success in your relationships. Here are some questions to ask yourself so that you can make smart dating and relationship vhoices.
1. What’s most important to you in a relationship right now?
2. What do you think will be most important to you in a relationship 5 years from now?
3. What are you absolutely not willing to tolerate?
4. If you are in a relationship right now, how do you think your partner “really” feels about you?
5. What is the best relationship you’ve had and what made it the best?
6. What is the worst relationship you ever had and what made it so bad?
7. Think about the people you know who have good relationships, what is it about their relationship that makes it so good?
8. Think about the people you know who have bad relationships, what is it about their relationship that makes it so bad?
By asking yourself these questions, you’ll equip yourself with important information that will enable you to make wise choices.
Copyright 2006 by Cassandra Mack.