The most costly swinger-dating mistake
As any good salesman will tell you, ‘closing the sale’ is a process that should be going on all the time, from the moment a meeting with a customer begins to when the sale is agreed.
This idea needs to be applied to all chat-up situations and even to swinger dating. It is particularly essential for a single male trying to get onto the first step of the swinger lifestyle ladder. Single guys and many newcomer swinger couples frequently manage to do all the right thing when chatting up other swingers, then ruin everything by neglecting the closure.
In these situations, the other person (or couple) is ready to get physical, the sexual chemistry is there and the date or meeting could not be going better. In fact, things have gone so well that time has whizzed by and no one has got around to doing anything sexual before the goodbyes are being said with someone suggesting another meeting again sometime. Everyone goes off home thinking about what a nice guy or couple they met and how enjoyable the date had been; until some time later they start to question why nothing happened. This sort of situation is by no means uncommon and if you are a single male or newbie couple, hoping to enjoy regular adult fun and a swinger lifestyle, you need to ensure you don’t let it happen to you. Here’s what you can do about it.
Three Ways to Close Swinger Chat
There are three obvious options for closing and moving on to enjoy recreational sex:
- Simply proposing an immediate commencement of sex here and now
- Proposing to meet somewhere else at some other time to have sex.
- Agreeing a date to go to a swinger club or private sex party together.
Which one of these closes to go for will be in part dictated by the circumstances of the meeting. Foe example, the have sex here and now option is obviously not going to be available in most public meeting places. On the other hand, for a meeting taking place at a sex party, closing in this direct way is usually the best option.
Closing Sex Party Chat
Although you might think it is much easier to avoid the forgetting to close mistake when the chatting-up swingers at a sex party, it still frequently happens. Over many years of attending swinger parties I have witnessed countless examples of people letting golden opportunities to enjoy threesomes and foursomes slip by simply because they failed to close conversations.
Let me describe one very typical example of this situation. Two couples engage themselves in highly flirtatious conversation. Both females are dressed (or undressed) to thrill. Both couples, (male and female partners alike) make it absolutely clear they are genuinely enthusiastic about enjoying their first ever group sex experience. They are keen to do a full swap and the sexual chemistry seems right from all four perspectives. The simple thing would be to close the conversation with a straightforward proposal like, “Are we ready to try the playroom out then?” But instead of this happening, all four get sucked into extending the conversation until it begins to die and degenerate into something that is no longer exciting or flirtatious. At this point someone makes an excuse to move on and the chance of swinging has gone for good.
The majority of couples attending swinger parties are only interested in partner swapping sex. This fact makes it very likely that a single male who fails to close the conversation with a couple who enjoy MFM threesomes, could easily mean missing out on the only opportunity that the party offers. This being the case, the guy has not only blown his chances of swinging with the couple he has been chatting up but he has effectively blown the whole party and might just as well go home!
The main reason that so many people are poor closers is fear of rejection. It is best overcome by adopting the feel the fear and do it anyway approach. In other words, the more times you override your anxiety by doing (saying) what needs to be done, the easier it will become for you. Put this into practise and the fear of rejection – which is a perfectly natural human feeling – will eventually be subdued and your ability to close will become an automatic and natural way for you to move things on to the physical stage of swinger dating.