The daily challenges in life, financial pressures, our jobs, taking care of kids, coping with aging parents and the like can take a toll on our desire for sex. This combines with the lack of sexual inventiveness can get us stuck in a sex rut which can hurt our desire. This can work in a vicious circle – low sex frequency leads to decreased sex drive and the depleted sex drive weakens the desire for sex.
How to get out of this situation so that you can have great sex again? Here are the 7 tips to help you to recover your sexual libido.
(1) Thinking about sex
If you hope to increase our interest in sex we have to take some time to flood our minds with sexual thoughts. This involves reliving those great sexual experiences you have with your spouse or to think of some new ways you can try to spice things up. You can also read some great articles or how-to help books or watch some informative videos, which can educate and allow you to know what is needed to improve sex life. The point here is to stimulate your mind in ways to get you into the mood.
(2) Increase your sexual attractiveness through dressing
The way you dress up yourself can play a great part in stoking those feel-good hormones, which can in turn influence your feeling of sexiness. How you look can influence how you feel. A changed outfit, a new fragrance, a makeover or a new hairdo can help to transmit the feeling that you are sexy and desirable. Even though you have grown accustomed to living with your spouse, this should not stop you from injecting some elements of surprise into the relationship, including the way you look.
(3) Communicating with partner
Sharing sexy words can be a great way for a sex-starved couple to reconnect and feel more inclined for romance. These words can be flowery, poetic and romantic like an old love letter or they can be spicy or graphic like a heated novel.
(4) Keep fit
Regular physical activity can boost the feel-good endorphins and can also improve your body image, promote blood flow to the sexual organs, making you feel sexier and giving your libido a healthy boost. In addition, Kegel exercises (done to tighten the pelvic muscles) can work to enhance sexual sensations and help boost desire.
(5) Spending time with each other
Just you and your partner only, separate from kids and work, during which serious topics such as kids and work are not discussed. You can plan a weekly date such as going out for dinner or a walk; but not to the movies or other activities that may not be conducive to talking to each other. If you cannot afford a babysitter, go out on the porch and have a glass of wine together after the kids go to sleep. You can also find some interesting and exciting things to do together such as going for tours, enrolling for some dancing or yoga classes.
(6) Allot some time to do something you enjoy
You can take time for yourself everyday even if this is only 10-15 minutes per day. This can help you to reduce stress and give you more energy for your partner. The more connected to who you are, the less you get lost in the daily grind, which pulls you away from your partner. The more sensual and the more connected you are to yourself, the more available you are for your partner.
(7) Just do it
If you have not had sex for a while, it is likely that your sexual desire will decrease gradually. The best way to overcome this is to have sex even when you are not in the mood at times. If you try to wait for the mood to come, chances are that you will never have sex again. Research has shown that the more we have sex, the more sex we want to have. Connecting sexually promotes the secretion of the attachment hormone, oxytocin, which can increase libido.