I smoked pot for many years. I liked pot because it helped me forget what a mess my life was, but I also liked it because of the effect it had on me. Whereas most people would zone out, drift away into la la-land and forgetfulness when they smoked pot, people would say things to me like “you are the only person I know whose mind gets sharper when you get high”.
Pot gave me the effect of enlightenment and realization. My thoughts would become crystal clear, extremely vivid and would reveal to me profoundly “spiritual” things. I could see into people with profound clarity and could psycho-analyze them with great precision. People found it mind boggling. A few liked it, but many found it cut to close to reality and stopped being with me when I was high.
The high for me mimicked realization and insight so closely that it had me unable to see the evil spirit behind all this for a very long time.The spirit behind this drug knew that I was born with a proclivity toward truth, had strong perception and it played up on this by revealing to me profound things, showing me true things, keeping me coming back for more. But what IT never revealed to me was that ALL of this was taking place from within my thought world, from within my ego universe where I saw myself as enlightened and certain that what I was seeing was true, because it was.
Can you see how unbelievably subtle this evil was? How terribly confusing this can be? How can right be wrong? Few have any idea how terribly intoxicating and addictive this can be. It would be some time before I realized that IT supported and kept me bonded to the seemingly “good” in my mind that wasn’t good at all. In truth I was bonded to an unholy spirit within standing in the place of the Holy.
Little did I know then that my motivation and timing made me all wrong, even as I was technically correct about what I would see and what I would say. Thank God for the pain in other aspects of my life that drove me to meditate, for in meditating I was finally able to see the great lie behind the powerful but wicked “voice of good” within my mind, and find freedom from this terribly addictive bondage.