Has your wife told you she needs to find herself? This vague and confusing phrase does nothing good for a relationship, and sends the one who gets dumped into a panic mode. So what are you supposed to do when she leaves you because she needs to find herself, and what does that even mean?
Honestly, when she tells you she needs to “find herself,” more often the problem lies deeper. She probably doesn’t want to hurt your feelings or doesn’t even know what the real problem is herself.
So what you need to do is:
1. Accept something is off with your wife, and the relationship.
Acceptance is the first step. When you accept that something is wrong, you move past the need to panic. Most people go into denial with a breakup because they just don’t want to face the facts of their lover’s unhappiness.
The truth is, something’s going on with your wife – and most likely, it is…
2. She feels unappreciated.
A huge reason women will check out of a long-term relationship or marriage is because they feel unappreciated. Getting back together with your wife is dependent on you realizing the importance of showing your appreciation for her.
This doesn’t mean you have to fawn over her nonstop, but call her from work or leave little notes around the house communicating that you love what she does for you. Even if it’s as simple as doing the laundry or taking the kids to school… little things add up.
But if she’s already told you she’s thinking of breaking it off, what do you really do?
3. Let her go with the understanding that you CAN get her back.
The key is at this time to not stop her when she says she’s breaking up with you because she needs to find herself. Women are independent creatures and they need to be given their freedom. It may be that your wife is just feeling a need to get some air, so to speak… so let her.
Don’t try to stop her from breaking up with you. Instead say, “Okay, I understand. I’m okay with you wanting to have some space, or break up.” Whatever her choice of words is, just go with it.
In some cases she will simply realize that things aren’t so great without you, and she will really start to miss you. If she doesn’t however, there’s nothing you can do. So at this point you need to start focusing on yourself – your own appearance, your hobbies, your general level of attractiveness.
This is important so that you can make yourself as attractive to her as possible when she next sees you after the breakup.