One of the most fulfilling parts of my life is meeting new people and learning about their life experiences. Joseph is one of these people. We met when Joseph was sixty-two years old and recently retired. His compelling life story about the aftermath from combat survival is heartbreaking but real.
At the age of nineteen; he married his high school sweetheart and joined the Army. Upon graduating basic training and jump school he deployed to the combat medic mission that led him into the agent orange war zone of Vietnam. Joseph’s emotional and mental spirit quickly became scarred with the smell of death.
During his time in combat Joseph survived by counting the body bags stacked from the floor to the ceiling of the primitive war infested hospital where he worked. His spirit plummeted into the rhythm of black depression while living in these hellish killing fields.
Several years later after surviving combat and the poisoned deprivation of the agent orange fields; his discharge from Army life to being a civilian became his reality. Returning home Joseph found a good job providing enough financial means for his family; but the bloody battle-field memories of war haunted him with anger escalating into uncontrollable rage causing damage and chaos to his employment and family life.
Desperate for relief, Joseph used alcohol to self-medicate by drinking himself into the numbness of oblivion. Because of violence and rage in his home, his wife eventually filed for divorce taking their three children into her custody.
This added loss and pain became so intense that Joseph detached himself from life where he existed, to live in the dark shadow of depressive anger; commonly known as PTSD. Here he could hide from a society that didn’t honor his sacrifice and service. The more chaotic his life became the deeper he needed the cocoon of his dark shadow where he could numb out and feel safe.
Joseph drifted aimlessly as his life slowly deteriorated into the nothingness of purpose. The following thirty plus years Joseph’s journey took the path of countless jobs, failed marriages and relationships ending with the same results; heartbreak and pain. The self-medicated alcoholic façade of PTSD was his friend and lover. The secret place where he could survive and not feel pain.
Consumed with hate in his heart Joseph ached for comfort and peace. As our friendship grew Joseph talked for hours about the painful war memories that filtered not only into his life but the lives of other people. I listened and watched as Joseph eventually came to terms with his demons by getting help from professionals who understood his PTSD
Joseph eventually found peace from his nightmare of combat. His defeatism is now purpose filled by helping other veterans come to terms with their dreadful horrific memories of war.
Do you know a combat veteran? Thank them for their sacrifice for your freedom; your words of gratitude could change their life.