Dr. Stanton E. Samenow authored Before it is Too Late, Inside the Criminal Mind, and spent several years researching criminal behavior. He assessed that poverty, divorce, and lifestyle doesn’t encourage crime. He claims criminals commit crimes because they don’t value anyone unless they can use them to serve their own selfish needs. Samenow developed a list of thinking errors he applied to criminals.
I have applied his thinking error model to those we meet on a social and professional level. Attempting to develop a relationship with someone with thinking errors can lead to future relationship problems. Here is a sample of thinking errors described in Samenow’s research. Perhaps some of these errors may apply to your partner:
• inflicts needs on others
• doesn’t worry about hurting others and only considers themselves
• blames others to avoid consequences
• seeks immediate self-gratification
• believes rules are for others
• controls others with anger
• doesn’t get along with others
• ineffective communicator
• uses sex for power
• considers people as things to possess and control
Although not everyone with a thinking error is a criminal, these errors can still be linked to abusive relationships. Partners may have violent tempers or blame others for their shortcomings. If you seek additional information about abusive relationships, look no further than the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) in their assessment of reported crimes. The report is termed the Uniform Crime Reports (UCR). Additional information about the UCR Program can be found on the FBI’s official website. I have included a few disturbing statistics from their 2006 UCR.
2006 Homicide Statistics
• In murder cases where the victim knew their killer, 21.6 percent were killed by a family member, and 55.3 percent were murdered by an acquaintance (neighbor, friends, girlfriend, boyfriend, etc…)
• Husbands and boyfriends killed their female victims 32.2 percent of the time.
• 26.1 percent of victims were murdered during an argument (including love triangles).
So the message is clear. Make sure you are careful about who you date or marry. The relationship could affect you and any future children.