Guys are simple creatures at heart. Romance, to them, is a conquest. In order to feel secure in a relationship, they need the chase as much as they need to catch what they’re chasing. It’s a very basic concept that many strong, confident women overlook because they are so used to being on top of everything else in their lives. Does this describe you? Do you have a stellar performance record in your career, hobbies and social circle but can’t seem to manage your love life? Relationships must be approached much differently than the things in your life you can easily control, like work. If you want to keep a guy around, you have to play his game to keep him interested – even though he’ll never know you’re playing it!
Being a little detached with a guy you’re interested in is always a good idea, especially in the start of a new relationship. If you answer every phone call on the first ring or are available for every invitation he extends, no matter the time or place, you’re not leaving enough to his imagination. As stated in the opening paragraph, all men need the chase to feel important. You don’t need to lie about anything or create a fictional “busy schedule,” but you also don’t need to let him in on every detail of your life or be open and available every single time he contacts you.
Make him work to know what you’re up to. Deliberately plan engagements with friends and family to fill up your schedule so that you have solid, honest reasons to decline his offers every so often. Let him know that you have an active social life by your schedule, but don’t offer up too much information about what you’re doing when you’re not with him. Let him be curious. Make him ask you.
It seems like men always go after the type of girl who couldn’t be much more than a fling. She’s flighty, probably doesn’t have a steady career, and probably dresses in skimpy clothing. Why shouldn’t you follow suit? Because men, deep down, really want the same things that we do as women. Guys want a relationship in which they can be comfortable and secure. They want a partner who is their equal, to whom they can express themselves and be intimate with without judgement or fear.
So why do guys date this other type of woman so often? The quick answer: because it’s easy. These types of women are usually very forward and direct. They have often been around the block and know how to come on to a guy from the moment they meet him. But they never keep the guy around, because a relationship based solely on physical attraction has no staying power. A man will realize that a stable, loving relationship cannot come out of such interactions and will eventually end their time together.
So how to you balance out being that physically attractive woman he wants from the second he meets with being the lover and confidant he wants to build a future with?
Look In the Mirror
Don’t resort to low-cut shirts and miniskirts. These will cheapen your appearance, even if you do look sexy. Go for a nice middle ground. It’s okay to show a little skin, but don’t wear anything you’d be embarrassed to run into a family member or coworker in!
Remember That This Isn’t Work
You don’t have to answer every phone call right away. You don’t have to clear your schedule for every date he proposes. Live your life as you would if you were completely single – let him come last once in a while, and let him work to even get that far!
Give Him Control… Kind Of
Much like letting a man take the lead when dancing, it doesn’t take any points away from your strength to let the guy you’re seeing make a decision here and there. Sure, the mentality is a little outdated, but letting a guy think he’s in control once in a while can go a long way towards letting him feel better about a potential relationship. Think of it more as a break from having to decide absolutely everything!