I recently received an email that said, “Warning-Do not open!” When I read the email, it went on to tell about a computer virus that could potentially destroy the entire hard drive on the computer. You probably have received emails from co-workers, family, or friends that had a similar subject line. Like a human virus that can spread rapidly from one person to another. A computer virus travels from one computer to the next causing major destruction. Once it is registered on a computer, it automatically picks up certain codes that swifts through your files to destroy all of your personal data. Other times it can actually sit on your computer for days before it releases itself, (waiting for a certain dates) to spread to other computers causing damage to the unsuspecting. What does a computer virus have anything to do with my subject on “unforgiveness”?
I believe that unforgiveness can be a deadly virus in our lives if we leave it untreated. Many health experts refer to it as “deadly emotions.” Researchers even agree that unforgiveness is linked to a variety of health issues. There have been studies conducted to measure heart rates, sweat rates, and other responses of volunteers who were asked to remember the wrongs that they have experienced. According to Professor Charlotte Van Oyen of Hope College in Michigan where the study was done; the subjects blood pressure and heart rates increased, as well as muscle tension was shown to be higher. This demonstrates that stress levels are higher when an individual is walking in unforgiveness as appose to forgiveness. Stress leads to a host of other illnesses that lands people in the hospitals daily. Dr. Don Colbert, M.D. says, “One of the secret causes of stress plaguing millions of people is unforgiveness.”
What does it mean to forgive? In The Five Languages of Apology, by Dr. Gary Chapman (also author of The Five Love Languages) simply states to “forgive means to cover, to take away; to pardon; and to be gracious to. When we forgive, it means to lift the penalty and to pardon the offender. Forgiveness is not a feeling, but a decision. This does not mean that trust is immediately restored.”
Whenever we are wronged or an offense has been committed towards us, at that moment, we have the option to forgive that person or that wrong. People often feel justified to be in unforgiveness because of what they had to endure, or pain they had to suffer; however, it ultimately destroys the person that is the one that is in unforgiveness, not the other person. The human brain is like a computer, it is a memory bank, whether it’s short-term or long term, it releases biochemical stress responses when you meditate and rehearse all the offenses that have been committed towards you. I have heard it said that the individual that is in unforgiveness is the one drinking the deadly poison, but instead wishing the other person would die.
We were taught as young as we can remember, “forgive and you will be forgiven…” because this is something that seems so elementary, something we probably learned as children and in Sunday school. The opportunity to be in unforgiveness faces all of us at one time or another and multiple times through out our life. This is a spiritual principal that if we choose, will result in freedom. Colossians 3:13 says, “You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” (NLT)
We have all been hurt and devastated by someone close to us, but we have the option to not allow the hurt to get rooted in bitterness, which then causes stress and stress causes a variety of sickness and disease to harvest in our lives. This can be a viscous cycle, and we are surrounded by people daily that live in this cycle of unforgiveness. I like what Dr. Colbert says, “Forgiveness does not mean that you didn’t hurt. It’s choosing to not live in the feeling of unforgiveness.” If we choose to forgive, does that mean that we let those who hurt us back into our lives without first earning our trust? Absolutely not! Depending where the relationship is at; I believe that is a decision between the two individuals involved.
We all must choose whether or not to forgive a wrong that has been done to us, and it can be the most difficult thing to do. Some offenses may seem minor, making forgiveness easy. The true test is when forgiveness is difficult; remember Dr. Gary Chapman’s definition of forgiveness? When you are willing to cover; to take away; to pardon; to be gracious to; to lift the penalty and to pardon the offender.
In order to prevent the dangerous viruses from infecting our computers and causing permanent damage; companies have created an Anti-virus software, an option that is now available and protects our computers from contracting these harmful viruses that can render our computers useless. Like the anti-virus software, forgiveness is the only remedy or antidote to unforgiveness for our own well-being! No matter how difficult your situation is, choose to let go, forgive that person that hurt you, the words that were spoken over you, the abuse that you may have experienced, the husband or wife that walked out on you, the children that rebelled and didn’t appreciate what you did for them. Perhaps you need help to get through this, it’s ok, get the help you need. The longer you live in this cycle, the more damage the virus will cause.
Like some computer viruses that sit and waits for a certain date to release itself; unforgiveness is similar- it registers on your memory bank, waiting for the day that it can actually release it’s poison and then paralyzes you from being able to move forward. It’s no easy matter- but you can do it! Choose to forgive. Don’t drink the deadly poison, and don’t allow the virus to spread through your body, robbing you of health and vitality; robbing your precious life of joy that belongs to you. You can do it! Forgiveness is powerful! Choose to experience total freedom, health and healing in your spirit, soul, and body!
Sources:
http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/9905/20/forgiveness/
Dr. Gary Chapman, Jennifer Thomas. The Five Languages of Apology. Northfied, 2006
Dr. Don Colbert, M.D. The Seven Pillars of Health. Siloam, 2007